


Lose You

by Ellies



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Abortion, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beating, Birth Control, Childbirth, Discussion of Abortion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Failed Birth Control, Forced Bonding, Graphic description of birth, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Killing, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Racist Language, Rape, Self-Esteem Issues, Threats of Violence, Unplanned Pregnancy, wow there's a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28739979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellies/pseuds/Ellies
Summary: “I’m pregnant,”Damen paled as soon as those words left his mouth. Laurent felt vaguely sick himself.“What?”
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like there's not enough of pregnant!Laurent on this website, so here's my contribution.
> 
> This fic treats some delicate/triggering topics so be sure you read the tags!
> 
> The entire description of abortion is based on my very own experience with it and how I experienced it so, please, refrain from judging if you are against it.

“I’m pregnant,” 

That’s the first thing Laurent said as Damianos opened the door. He had spent the last five days trying to understand how in hell that had been possible, how had he gotten pregnant when he was taking suppressants. 

He had known Damen for two months. It had been so easy to be attracted to him, his easy-going attitude, his gentle smile, his big and strong body. Laurent had felt hypnotised as Damen had introduced himself the first day of university, even if he had tried not to show that to him. Manifesting his emotions had always been a flaw. He knew that lesson well enough. And he _had tried_ , had really tried to stay away from him, but Damen was _everywhere_ and determined, and his many attempts to ask him out had only been nothing but polite and respectful of his boundaries. 

He had said yes, at last. After a month he had decided that maybe he was worth it and if he wasn’t… well, their story would have ended as soon as it had started. 

Ending in bed with him had been just as easy. He wasn’t scared, he was just… he didn’t know what to expect. Sex for Laurent had always been one-sided. He was just a recipient for others’ pleasure, without them caring for his own. He would not be experiencing pleasure anyway. Not again. 

So, it had been a shock when, after hours of lovemaking, he had come on Damen’s cock. It was big – bigger than any other Laurent had taken – and he had fucked him with such gentleness that he had nearly cried, later, in his room. He didn’t think he would still be able to have an orgasm. He had begged Damen, after that, to come inside him. His eyes were dark with lust and desire and just a hint of concern. Laurent didn’t even want to start thinking about how he looked in that moment. His mind was a mess, he felt destroyed. 

Then, his heat hadn’t come. It took him some days to acknowledge that, because he was used for it to be late – even with suppressants his cycles had never been regular. But it took too long and, before he knew, he was standing in his bathroom with a pregnancy test that was positive. 

He had panicked, that night and the following four. He had barely eaten for days, wishing to starve _it_ before it could grow any further. He had ignored Damen’s calls, pretending he didn’t exist and that he hadn’t put Laurent in that condition. He knew it wasn’t fair; Laurent was as responsible as he was, but it ate him inside out that he couldn’t figure out how his suppressants had not worked. 

It had taken days, but at last he had decided that Damen deserved to know, before he… took care of it. So, there he was, in front of Damen’s apartment, watching as he paled as soon as those words left his mouth. Laurent felt vaguely sick himself. 

“What?” Damen barely whispered, and he saw his hands trembling on the doorknob. 

Laurent closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He felt panic rise again into his chest, and he would not allow it. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know… how. I swear I took my pills every day,” he said, hastily, his heart speeding up at the thought that Damen could think he had done this on purpose. 

“I know. That’s not… I- Laurent,” he whispered again, and he took his hand, so gently, and dragged him into the apartment. He looked desperate. 

“I- I only thought it was fair you knew. I’m going to get rid of it soon,” he said, his voice colder than he meant to, but it was necessary. He wasn’t going to keep it, he couldn’t, and Damen had to understand that that wasn’t something negotiable. 

“Okay,” Damen just replied, swallowing what seemed like a stone in his throat. Their hands were still linked. 

“You are okay with this?” Laurent couldn’t refrain himself from asking. 

“It’s not my decision to make,” Damen said, looking at him into his eyes. They seemed… sad, in a way. “I won’t force you to keep a baby you don’t want. Even if it’s mine.” 

_Mine_. “If you could choose, would you keep it?” 

“Laurent-” 

“No, just tell me,” 

“It’s complicated. I’ve ways wanted a family of my own. But not… not at the cost of my partner’s happiness and wellbeing,” 

Laurent felt like crying. “I’m not your partner, I was just an easy fuck,” 

Damen’s eyebrows furrowed, his expression puzzled. “You were never just a fuck. And you were not easy. It took a month for you to agree to go out with me,” 

“And three hours to have me in your bed, and another month to have me pregnant,” Laurent said, his voice icier the more he talked, and thought, and panicked. 

Damen had a perpetually sad expression on his face and Laurent could not stand it. But he couldn’t move. 

A gentle hand stroked his cheekbone, and Laurent felt the first segment of control slip. He closed his eyes and, as Damen kept stroking his face, his hair and his neck, he felt himself crush under the pressure of his mind. 

The first sob caught him unprepared, and he looked at his wet hands in shock as he felt his chest tighten and his eyes leak more tears, falling rapidly down his cheeks and onto Damianos’ fingers. He didn’t remove his hands, just kept coming closer until Laurent was surrounded by him, his warmth and his calming scent. 

Laurent hadn’t cried since he was thirteen, but that day he cried for what it seemed like hours, but was probably just a few, extenuating minutes. At the end, he felt like his body had been crushed under a truck. Damen was still holding him, running a thumb on his shoulder blades. 

“I can’t keep it, Damen. I _can’t_ be pregnant,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse and his hands tight on the fabric of Damianos’ shirt. 

“I know, Laurent. I understand this,” Damen said, gently, and his voice was too much, too soft, too understanding, and Laurent felt himself break down again. 

**αβω**

He opened the front door and hoped that the house would be empty. He should have known that his desires were never granted. His uncle sat on the armchair in front of the fire and looked at him as he walked towards the stairs. 

“Laurent,” he said, standing and waiting for him to stop and turn. He did stop, but had to close his eyes and take a deep breath before he could turn. He didn’t speak, just looked at his uncle in his eyes with a blank expression. 

“Come and greet me properly, nephew. This isn’t how I taught you to behave,” 

Laurent felt nausea hit him like a wave, but he forced himself to swallow it and he took careful steps towards the man he hated most in the world, and forced himself even harder to slip into his waiting arms, hugging him briefly. 

“Hello, uncle,” he said between gritted teeth, taking a step back as soon as his body touched him. His uncle took him by an elbow and forced him to stay a little longer. Laurent felt him inhaling deeply. 

“Your scent is different,” he said, and Laurent felt his heart skip a beat. He forced himself not to react, only frowning. 

“I didn’t notice any difference,” 

“Mmmh,” his uncle was pensive. It was never a good thing when he was silent and thinking. “Maybe it’s just the new suppressants,” he said at last. 

Laurent’s mind went blank. He was barely conscious of his uncle looking at him, opening his mouth to speak. 

“Are you okay, Laurent?” he said, but he was smiling. His uncle never smiled. 

“Yes. I didn’t know you changed my suppressants,” Laurent said, forcing the words out of his throat with a neutral and disinterested tone. 

“Oh, nothing to worry about. Dr. Guion just gave me a better formula. Less collateral effects,” 

“I understand. Thank you, Uncle, for taking care of me,” he managed to say, taking a few steps back and going into his room. 

As soon as he closed the door, he collapsed on the floor. He took his head into his hands, trying to breathe steadily but failing miserably. He knew his Uncle had done something with his pills, but there was no way he could prove it. He felt a wave of nausea rising in his throat, thinking that his uncle had sabotaged him, that he was _pregnant_ because his Uncle had wanted to punish him for something he didn’t even know he had done. 

Being with Damen had distracted him enough not to notice that he was up to something. 

He stood hastily as he felt like vomiting. He barely reached the toilet before he expelled what little dinner he had eaten, the feeling and the smell making him wrinkle his nose. He stood there for an hour, until he was sure that nothing would come up again from his stomach, and then he stood and went to take a shower. 

As he felt the hot water hitting his skin, he thought about Auguste. If he had been alive, nothing would have happened. He wouldn’t have lived with his uncle, wouldn’t have been ruined by him for so many years, and wouldn’t be pregnant with the baby of the man he liked. He felt the need to be held by his brother, the only person able to calm him. 

He shut the water angrily, reminding himself that thinking about those things only made the longing worse. Auguste was not there; he was dead and could never save Laurent again. 

****

**αβω**

The next time he was alone with Damen, it was in his apartment once again. Two weeks had passed since his confession, and he had avoided all his calls, and changed way as soon as he saw him in the corridors. He felt terrible for doing that, but he couldn’t bear to look at him in the eyes. He should have known that Damen wouldn’t give up so easily. 

He had followed him to his next class, and took him by the hand before he could actually step into the room. 

“Laurent,” he said, and dragged him in a corner. 

“Let me go,” he said, his words carefully spoken. 

Damen removed his hand. “Why are you angry with me?” he asked, and by the look on his face, Laurent could tell he was really concerned. It wasn’t difficult to understand: Damen was an open book. 

“I’m not angry with you,” Laurent said, because he couldn’t lie to Damen when he was looking at him with such an open expression on his face. 

“You have been avoiding me,” 

Laurent closed his eyes, feeling his already bad headache worsen. It was the wrong move, because Damen came closer and touched his face, worried. 

“Are you okay? There’s something wrong?” 

“Everything is wrong, Damen,” he felt so tired, and he hadn’t eaten in 27 hours. He felt weak and ready to pass out. Damen seemed to notice that, because his face hardened and he took Laurent by an elbow, dragging him away. 

“What the hell are you doing? I have a class in five minutes!” Laurent protested, trying to resist him. 

“You don’t have a _damn thing_. Now you’ll come with me or I will make you,” Damen practically growled, his eyes dark and angry, as he looked at Laurent. That behaviour made him want to argue, so that’s what he did. 

“Oh,” Laurent laughed. He was angry, so angry, and Damen haven’t even started to realise. “Will you force me, Damen? Use your _alpha power_ to dominate me? You are not fucking allowed to treat me like this only because you think you’re superior than me,” he said, spitting his words venomously. Nevertheless, his heart was beating fast and he was sweating. 

His words seemed to sober Damen in a second, even if his grip didn’t lose force. “I’m sorry, Laurent. I- I don’t know what it took me. You’re just so pale, and I can feel you are weak. How long it’s been since you last ate?” 

“A few hours,” he lied. 

“Laurent,” Damen said, exasperated. 

“… yesterday morning,” he confessed. He was the last person Laurent wanted to know that. 

Damen looked surprised, angry and resigned all at the same time. He stopped gripping his arm, and just sighed, sadly. “You can’t starve yourself,” 

“Yes, I can,” he said, stubbornly. He could, and he already was. 

“Can you please come home with me? Now?” 

“I have-” Laurent tried to argue. 

“I don’t fucking care about your lessons,” Damen huffed, threading his fingers through his hair. “Listen; I will personally ask for notes for you tomorrow. I will do _anything_ you want to make up for your absence. Now, I just want you to come home with me and let me take care of you.” he said, and honestly, this was not something Laurent was used to. He just nodded, and Damen let out a relieved breath. 

When they arrived at his apartment, it was warm, and Laurent curled on the sofa, feeling for the first time how exhausted his body was. Damen kneeled in front of him, and traced light and soft lines on his arms, until he cupped his cheek with a big hand and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m gonna prepare you something light, okay?” 

“Okay,” he whispered, because it was easier to agree. “Nothing with carrots, they make me sick,” he added, after a second, and flushed when Damen’s eyes widened as soon as he understood what that meant. 

“Oh, okay. Yes. Got it,” he stuttered. 

After half an hour, Damen came back with a bowl filled with pumpkin soup. It was sweet but spicy and Laurent honestly loved it, and it seemed to settle his stomach. He loved more the expression of utterly relief and joy Damen had on his face as he took more and more spoonful of soup. 

“Feel better?” Damen asked, as he returned after having washed the dishes. Laurent had fallen asleep for a few minutes, but quickly came to consciousness at his voice. 

“Yes, thank you,” he managed a smile. 

Damen was silent for a few minutes. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, eventually, nervousness palpable in his voice. 

“Why?” he just asked. 

Damen seemed confused by his question. He surely had never had to deal with someone not wanting to kiss him. Or so Laurent thought. 

“Because I like you very much, Laurent,” he simply said. 

“You fucked me some times, and now you think you have feelings for me,” he said. He didn’t know why he was saying those things to him. It was cruel, and Damen seemed genuinely hurt. He just wanted Damen to hate him, so it would be easier to get rid of his unplanned child without regrets. 

“You don’t get to tell me what my feelings are,” he said, and he voice sounder a little bit angry. 

“You think you love me now, because I’m pregnant with your child?” Laurent continued, unable to stop. He was getting worked up, and he was so tired, so sad and so angry, all at once. “I saw you getting all overprotective, earlier. You think I’m yours now, because you came into me at an unfortunate moment? Don’t bother, soon you will not feel this way anymore, and I’ll be just one of your fucks, maybe even the worse one,” 

“Laurent stop,” Damen said, and now his voice was unmistakably filled with hurt. “Stop talking,” 

Laurent jerked his head towards him, and saw that his eyes were filled with unshed tears. Laurent stilled, shocked. 

“What are you doing?” 

Damen seemed confused by his question, and just looked at him. 

“Why do you care? You don’t. You- you think you do but you really don’t,” Laurent said, but he felt his mind slipping into confusion, his heart racing faster. 

“Laurent, stop,” Damen said again, his voice barely a whisper, hoarse. 

“I can’t,” Laurent said, and closed his eyes. 

“Can I hug you, please?” Damen asked, and his voice was broken. Laurent nodded. In a second he was enveloped into Damen’s arms and body and he smelled so nice even if he was distressed, and Laurent felt himself crying once again. 

“Hey, baby…” Damen whispered into his ear, and Laurent sobbed harder. “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” he murmured, and his voice was just so gentle. 

“I don’t deserve you, Damen. I don’t deserve anything, and still, you are here, making me feel _things_ ,” 

“You deserve everything that’s good in the world. I would give you my whole heart, Laurent. I already had,” 

“You can’t. I can’t,” 

“Why?” 

“He will break you. He already ruined me,” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Laurent shook his head, unable to speak. It was like his body was fighting against his mind. He desperately wanted to tell someone everything, but his mouth couldn’t move, even if the words had already formed into his brain. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” 

“But I want—I want so badly to tell you everything, I just can’t. I will lose you,” Laurent said, unable to stop talking now that he had started. _I can’t lose you_ , that’s what he really wanted to say. He desperately wanted to vomit the truth, but it was terrifying to pronounce the words, knowing that they would make Damen disgusted with him. 

“Letting you go is the farthest thing on my mind,” Dame replied, kissing his hair gently. 

Laurent kept shaking his head, and Damen didn’t say anything. He just stroked every part of his upper body, trying to make him relax. After a while, Laurent was draped on his body, his eyes closed and his breath slow. While he slept, Damen reached his abdomen, touching with the lightest of touches the skin there. He stroked it gently, not wanting to startle Laurent awake, and wondered what he would be like, with a bump. When he looked up, Laurent was looking at him. He had an unreadable look on his face, and he was lying perfectly still. 

Damen immediately removed his hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you without your permission,” he said, scared of angering him. 

Laurent just looked at him in the eyes, before exhaling. “Fuck, you want this baby,” Laurent said, his voice trembling. 

As soon as he said it, Damen knew he was right, but he shook his head. 

“I want _you_. And it’s not a baby yet,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, because he saw Laurent smile a little. He was beautiful. 

“You want this embryo, then,” Laurent joked back, but there was a hole in his heart. He could imagine Damen with a little child in his arms, a child that would had his beautiful features and that would be loved... but Laurent could never give him that. 

“I want you,” he said again. 

“Damen,” Laurent said, looking at his with an intense expression. “Answer me,” 

“Yes,” he said, and he felt his heart beat so much faster. Laurent face fell. 

“I’m sorry,” Laurent said, not looking at him again. He could not stand to look at his face now. 

“You don’t have to be, I already told you what I think about this,” Damen answered, and he was honest. Laurent just felt incapable of completely believe his words. 

“You only said it to make me feel better, but you’ll be heartbroken when I’ll get that abortion,” 

“I’ll be sad, not heartbroken. That I would be if you left me forever,” Damen said, and Laurent felt his heart jump, nevertheless. 

“How can you say that with a straight face?” 

Damen smiled. “Because it’s true,” 

“You wouldn’t if you knew,” 

“Then tell me,” 

“It’s not that easy,” Laurent argued. 

“I know, I won’t pretend it will be, but… something has happened and I would… I’d like to know what. So that I can help you,” 

Laurent gave a bitter laugh. “You can’t help me,” 

“Maybe, or maybe I can,” 

“Are you always this optimistic?” 

“I try to,” 

“I’ll disgust you,” 

“No, you won’t,” 

“You don’t even know-” 

“There’s nothing you can tell me that would make me feel disgusted by you,” 

“My uncle sexually abused me for years,” Laurent said, not thinking, and then widening his eyes as he couldn’t believe he had actually said it out loud. 

Damen stayed very still, and after a few seconds he heard himself asking something. He couldn’t hear himself speaking, his ears were ringing. 

“I said-” Laurent started to speak, but Damen interrupted him. 

“Is he…” 

“Not anymore,” Laurent said, understanding his question. He was hard to speak, and harder to look at him, so he didn’t. 

“You are still living with him,” Damen said, not even phrasing it as a question. 

“Damen,” 

“You have to leave that house,” Damen said, his voice agitated and worked-up. He was barely listening at Laurent; he just felt the need to take _his lover and his child_ away from his abuser. 

“Damen,” Laurent repeated. 

“You have to,” he said again. 

“You have to listen to me and let go of your thigh,” Laurent said, his voice firm and hard. Thankfully, this time Damen listened. He seemed to not have realized that he had dug his nails into the flesh of his leg, leaving deep signs of his nails into the skin. 

“I’m- I’m sorry Laurent,” he said, and he looked like a little child. Lost. 

“Damen, I know it’s a lot to process,” Laurent said, and he felt terrified, because he had never told anyone what he had just confessed him. 

“It’s…” Damen almost laughed. “It must be terrifying for _you_ to go back there every night,” 

Laurent felt taken aback by those words. Damen didn’t sound disgusted, just worried. 

“It is,” he just said. It wasn’t exactly _fear_ , but it was difficult to explain in that moment. Maybe, one day. “Sometimes I… I wake up and think he’s in my room, watching me. Sometimes I think he is actually there, fucking with my mind,” 

“Have you ever told anyone?” 

“Every member of my family that cared about me is long dead,” he said, and that was his answer. 

“I’m sorry. I… what can I do for you?” 

“Kiss me,” Laurent said. 

“You want me to touch you?” Damen asked, in a small voice, incredulity on his face. 

“Of course I do, Damen, what are you saying?” 

“But I- I grabbed you, earlier. I forced you to come with me. I’m so sorry,” Damen said, genuinely upset. 

“Oh, Damen, that’s not even remotely the same thing. How can you think it’s the same?” 

“I don’t know. I’m just very angry and sad right now, I don’t know,” 

“I am too,” Laurent said and he just kissed him. The kiss was soft and gentle, and Laurent had to work a bit to make Damen fully participate. When he was in the right direction, Damen relaxed a little, and put a hand on his waist, stroking the skin there. 

“Laurent you are so beautiful, so damn beautiful,” Damen whispered, kissing his neck and shoulders. 

He moaned softly, feeling a familiar wetness between his legs. “Damen…” 

“Yeah?” he said, on his skin. 

“I’m… you- I want you,” Laurent said, flushing. 

“Oh,” Damen said. In a moment, his hands were at the edge of his jeans, and he yanked them down. A sweet, intoxicating scent was coming from Laurent’s opening, wet with slick and so appealing. 

“Laurent I… can I…?” 

“Yes,” he said, moaning as two of Damen’s fingers slid into his opening. “Fuck, fuck, it feels so good already-” 

“You are so wet, Laurent, fuck-” Damen said, in awe, and added another finger, fucking him fast. He curled his fingers inside of him, and more slick came out with a squelching sound that made Damen hard rock in his pants. 

“Damen stop, stop,” 

He immediately removed his fingers, and looked at him with a worried expression. “Are you hurt?” 

“No,” Laurent smiled. “I just want you to fuck me hard into the bed,” 

Damen was quick to oblige. He took him in his arms and carried him into the bedroom, throwing him on the mattress so that he was lying on his belly. Laurent got on all fours and bent his back, showing his ass and moaning to catch his attention. 

Damen quickly took off his clothes and put himself behind him, his hard cock sliding between his cheeks, and bent over to lay a kiss on his lower back. 

“I’m here, baby,” he whispered on his skin, leaving wet trails with his tongue. “Tell me what you want.” 

“Damen,” Laurent moaned, and arched his back further, grinding on Damen’s member. “Please, I want you. Fuck me, knot me, _please_ , I need you inside of me.” 

Damen swore and put his hands on his waist and dug his fingers hard on the flash there, moving his own hips to rub the head of his cock on Laurent’s hole. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he breathed, but he pulled away to put two fingers into Laurent’s tight wetness again. 

“No, Damen, please... please give me your cock, I’m ready...” Laurent begged, still desperately trying to fuck himself harder on his fingers. 

Damen didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled his fingers out and positioned himself on Laurent’s hole, and he got inside of him with a long, steady push. Laurent literally melted underneath him, and he screamed words of assent as Damen’s cock opened him and buried balls-deep inside of his body. 

Damen’s hands slid on Laurent’s stomach, holding him there, and he fucked him harder, fuelled by the instinct that told him that there was his baby there. It was way too arousing, thinking that Laurent could be full and round in a few months. He exhaled deeply, not saying anything to Laurent, because he knew this fantasy was his and his only. 

It didn’t take long for the both of them to come; they were too eager, too desperate for each other. When Laurent’s orgasm hit him, his inner walls clenched Damen’s cock, and he screamed so hard that his throat felt raw. 

Damen felt his knot forming and he gasped. It was very unusual for him to knot outside of his rut, but Laurent was so hot it was almost impossible for him to stop. Still, he forced himself, because he could never do that without Laurent explicit permission. 

“Laurent,” he moaned, his voice low and deep, incredibly on the edge. “I’m- can I knot you, _please, baby,_ ” 

Laurent was coming down from his own orgasm and he just nodded enthusiastically, moving his hands and putting them on Damen strong thighs to push him against himself. 

“ _Yes, please_ , knot me, come inside of me,” he moaned desperately, still incredibly aroused. 

Damen felt hopeless; he pushed hard inside of Laurent, making the younger man scream again, and he locked himself there, groaning and spilling hard. He felt lightheaded for a few seconds, coming harder than he remembered in the last months. He collapsed on Laurent’s body, panting, and he dropped his forehead between his shoulder’s blades, kissing the damp skin. 

“Fuck,” Laurent said, but he was laughing breathlessly. “You never knotted me before,” 

“Yeah... yeah,” Damen said, unable to form proper words. He was exhausted. 

Laurent laughed again. “Let’s lie down, my back aches.” 

Damen nodded and moved them so that they were spooning, his knot still hard inside of Laurent’s ass. He moved slowly, just rocking his hips, and breathing softly as he felt his body release more semen. 

Laurent was relaxed in his arms, more than he had seen him in the past weeks. Damen gently kissed the nape of his neck and he felt him stirring. 

“Laurent,” he said, his voice a little more serious than before. 

“Mmmh?” Laurent murmured, sleepy. 

“Can I... come with you?” 

“Where?” 

“To... the clinic. When you’ll get the abortion,” Damen said softly. He didn’t want Laurent to run from him – even if he wasn’t physically able at the moment – but he still felt him tense. 

“Why do you have to talk about this?” Laurent said, his voice angry but also tired. 

“Because I don’t want you to through this alone,” Damen kept saying softly, stroking his hair. 

“I’ve always been alone, I don’t... I don’t need you,” Laurent said, but Damen knew that it was the hurt talking. 

“I want to be there for you. I... want to be with you, actually. If you... if you want me,” Damen said, and Laurent had never heard him so hesitant. 

Laurent felt his mind throbbing. He moved, and felt Damen’s still enlarged knot tug at his hole. It hurt, it burned, but he pulled anyway until he was free. Then, he sat on the bed and curled his arms around his legs, trying not to think about Damen’s come uncomfortably sliding down his ass cheeks and wetting the bedsheets. 

Damen knew he should have left him alone, but he couldn’t. Laurent smelled distressed, his body was shaking, and he couldn’t ignore it. He gently touched Laurent's shoulder and relaxed when he didn’t reject his touch. 

“Hey, baby,” he said softly. “What are you afraid of?” 

Laurent turned, and his face was a mess, tear-stained and terrified. “I... I’m afraid of trusting you, and discovering you’re not gentle as you seem, that you’ll hurt me too, that my heart will be forever broken after that.” 

“Laurent,” Damen said, his voice serious. “I will never, never hurt you. Not intentionally. I swear. I care about you a lot, and I want to be part of your life, as long as you’ll want me. I want to be your... partner.” 

"I’m not an easy person to deal with,” Laurent said, trying to make him change his mind. 

“I don’t care,” Damen replied. 

“I have moods. I may scream at you, I may not want you around. I may hurt you with my behaviour,” 

“I’ll understand,” 

“Will you, really? Even when I don’t want to be touched, won’t you feel bad, or think that I’m rejecting you?” 

“We’ll talk, and clear things,” 

“You’ve thought about this,” Laurent said, realising that only in that moment. 

“Of course I have. I’ve had a crush on you since the day I met you,” Damen said, and he was smiling softly. He took his hand, gently kissing its knuckles. “I want to get to know you better. I know that we don’t know anything about each other, but... I really want to. I think I can easily fall in love with you, Laurent.” 

“You already know more about me than every person in this world. I think that’s pretty good,” Laurent said, ignoring every other past of what Damen had said. He couldn’t deal with it now, not when he wasn’t alone. 

“So that’s a yes?” Damen asked, and, on his face, there was a hopeful expression. 

“Yes to what?” Laurent teased, and curled his lips. 

“May I have the honour of being your boyfriend?” 

Laurent pretended his heart didn’t do a double jump in his chest. “That’s cheesy,” he said, but leaned towards Damen and kissed his lips. “Yes,” he said, as soon as the kiss ended. “You may.” 

****

**αβω**

Laurent didn’t pretend that he could hide anything from his uncle. Almost two months had passed since he had found he was pregnant, and his time was running out. His appetite had increased considerably, and he could already see a little swell of his lower abdomen, the start of what would become his baby bump, if he had kept the child. He forced himself not to think about it, even if he couldn’t stop Damen from kissing him there when they were having sex, as it was Laurent’s most beautiful feature. 

Hiding his pregnancy from his uncle had proved to be easy, too easy, and Laurent knew that the man knew about it. For the first time, Laurent felt incapable of understanding his Uncle’s motives. He only knew that he had discovered about Damen, because one night, at dinner, he had made some strange comments about him always being outside of the house, in the last three months. 

Maybe he had hoped that Laurent’s life would be ruined by a child in his young age, that the shame of being pregnant outside of a bond would automatically make Laurent more dependent on him than he already was, until he came of age and would have his inheritance. 

What he clearly didn’t know was that Damen wasn’t a typical Alpha and Laurent was not a typical Omega, and that they had a different plan. 

Laurent refused to be bound by his Uncle’s manipulation one minute longer. 

****

**αβω**

Damen held his hand while Laurent was into the hospital bed, a needle in his arm, waiting to be brought to the operating room. He had never been into surgery, and it felt strange to be there not because he was ill, but to get an abortion. 

Getting there had not been easy. There had been countless questions, most of which were spoken in a disapproving tone, directed at both Laurent and Damen, but especially at Laurent, who was seen as the omega that was taking away the possibility of having children to his alpha. Other times, doctors only saw their young age, and they automatically thought them irresponsible. But they didn’t know anything about them, how they got into that situation and what their reasons were, and so Laurent ignored them, and at the same time he had to try to contain the anger of Damen that always seemed a minute away from punching them for what they were saying about Laurent. 

Then, they called him, and he was brought away by nurses who looked at him disapprovingly, and suddenly he felt very alone and scared. The O.R. was cold, and they left him in a room, waiting, for what it seemed like hours. Suddenly, he felt something strange between his legs, and after a while he checked, and his hand came away stained red with blood. No one had said anything about bleeding, and he hadn’t asked what would have happened there, and there wasn’t anyone in the room to ask if this was normal. His heart pounded and he was freezing, until one nurse entered the room and Laurent called him, his voice feeble and shy. 

The man almost mocked him when he asked if the blood was supposed to happen. It was the pill they had inserted into his vaginal canal earlier, which was meant to dilate the cervix to carry on the procedure. 

Laurent felt stupid to even have asked, because he felt like he should have known that or, at least, should have asked what that pill was. But it didn’t matter, now, so he swallowed his pride and closed his eyes, waiting. 

It wasn’t soon until they came for him and took him to the O.R. 

The surgeon and the nurses there were kinder, and Laurent didn’t feel as judged as he was before. They hooked him to some I.V. infusion and the anesthesiologist put a mask on his face, telling him to count backwards from ten. Laurent didn’t know what number he got to before he lost consciousness. 

When he woke up, he was in his room again, and Damen was there, holding his hand. 

“Here you are,” he said, gently, as Laurent blinked to consciousness. His mouth felt weird, and talking was difficult because he still felt asleep. 

“What time is it?” Laurent asked. 

“Five p.m.,” he answered, kissing his forehead. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” 

Laurent shook his head. “No, it just feels uncomfortable. I feel like I’m stuffed, down there,” 

“Do you want me to take a look?” 

Laurent shot a glance to the door, but it was closed. “Okay,” he agreed. 

Damen nodded and pulled down the sheet that covered him. Underneath the hospital gown he was naked, but there were several pads, stained with blood. 

“You’re still bleeding, so they put some sanitary pads,” Damen explained, and covered him again. 

“I see,” Laurent said. “I hope I won’t bleed for too long. It’s... unpleasant.” 

“I can imagine that,” Damen said, empathically, stroking his short hair in a soothing manner. Laurent felt like sleeping again. 

“That’s nice,” he said, with his eyes closed. 

Damen didn’t stop. “I want you to feel better,” 

“I’m fine, Damen,” Laurent said. He... didn’t feel like this abortion was traumatic. He had read so much, about omegas having to abort their babies, and they all seemed so upset about it. Laurent felt fine. He felt _free_. He didn’t want it, and he wouldn’t have kept it. Damen and him had discussed a lot about this, as the man seemed to think that he would feel upset, but he had assured that he wouldn’t have. Still, he liked the attention, so he let him continue. 

“I know, I know. Sorry,” he laughed quietly. “Just tell me if anything changes.” 

“I will,” Laurent promised, and he let himself fall asleep as they waited for the nurse to come to give them instruction for the aftercare and send them home. 

****

**αβω**

A month later, he had to take another pregnancy test before going to the ob-gyn. It was negative. 

****

**αβω**

As soon as his doctor said it was okay to start taking suppressants again, he asked Damen to keep them at his house. He wouldn’t risk another pregnancy because of his Uncle. 

When he went to Damen’s, that night, he asked Laurent to come live with him. 

“I can’t,” he said, and it broke his heart to say those words. “Until I’m 21, my uncle is my legal guardian. I don’t have money; I don’t have anything.” 

“I can take care of you until then,” Damen replied, like it was that simple. 

“I don’t want him near you if I can help it,” Laurent said, his voice hard and angry at the thought of his uncle hurting Damen. “And he will come here to take me back under his control.” 

Laurent could see Damen was frustrated, and he understood it, because he hadn’t lived with the man since he was thirteen. 

“I want him to know you’re not alone anymore,” Damen said, and Laurent stilled. 

“You... as soon as he meets you, you’ll be his enemy,” Laurent said. 

“I know,” 

“And you would do it anyway?” 

“Of course I would. I love you Laurent,” Damen said, and then his eyes widened, as he hadn’t meant to say it. Still, he didn’t take it back. 

Laurent felt his heart stop. 

“Laurent, you don’t-” Damen started to say, when Laurent didn’t talk. 

“Shut up,” Laurent said, because he didn’t want to hear anything from him except those four words. “Say it again.” 

Relief bloomed on Damen’s face and he smiled. “I love you, Laurent. I love you, and I always will,” 

Laurent threw himself at him and hugged him tight, burying his face into the crook of his neck. “I love you, too, Damen,” he said. “That’s why you’ll have to wait. I cannot risk you, I won’t lose you.” 

“But-” Damen argued. 

“No buts,” Laurent said, kissing his neck. “We’ll manage it. I’ll try to stay here more nights, but I can’t promise anything.” 

“I hate this,” Damen sighed, kissing his hair. 

“I know. I hate this, too,” Laurent mouthed on his skin, and then bit him on the neck. “Do you want me to distract you?” 

“Mmmmh, what do you have in mind?” Damen said, his voice already lower and deeper. 

“Wait and see,” Laurent said, as he moved away from his neck and went on his knees. 

Damen was successfully distracted. 

****

**αβω**

Laurent had the feeling that something bad was about to happen. He was in his room, when the door opened and his uncle entered. He just raised an eyebrow, but inside, he was starting to feel the anxiety rise. 

His Uncle was angry. He hadn’t seen him angry since Laurent was fifteen. Then, he smelt it. He was drunk. 

Laurent closed his eyes and stood, ready to run if things got bad, but he stayed still. 

“Where are you going at night, Laurent?” the man asked, taking a step towards him. 

Laurent breathed deeply and forced himself to stay very still. “I’m-” 

“Don’t you dare lying to me, you stupid bitch!” his uncle yelled, before he had the chance to speak. “I know where you go. You think I wouldn’t find out?” 

Laurent’s heart was starting to pound, and he desperately wanted to call Damen and tell him to come here immediately. He stayed silent. 

“I know you like spreading your legs like a cunt in heat,” he slurred, and he took another step, and then another, until he was breathing on his face, a hard curled tight against his throat. Laurent wanted to scream and vomit. “Don’t forget _I_ was your first.” 

“Let me go,” Laurent said, at last, because he couldn’t stand his touch, his sight, anything about him. He made him want to skin himself. 

“You’re an ungrateful little whore. You’re only good to be fucked, and filled, and knocked up,” he said, and Laurent’s breath stopped. “You think I wouldn’t notice this, too? You think you’re so clever, fucking that wog and taking care of things behind my back. But you are _mine_.” 

“Leave him out of this,” Laurent said, but his voice was strained, because his uncle’s hand was gripping his throat, _hard_. 

“I will kill him if I see you with him again, do you understand?” he asked and, when Laurent didn’t answer, he tightened his hold. “Do you understand!?” 

Laurent nodded, frantically, and then he felt the hand disappear, and he coughed, falling on the ground on his knees. He felt tears at the corner of his eyes. 

“You’re pathetic,” his uncle said, giving him a disgusted look, and then he left. 

That night, Laurent cried. 

****

**αβω**

Life had become duller since he couldn’t see Damen. He had only managed to send him a single text, telling him they should break up, and then he had turned off the phone, unable to wait for his answer and the inevitable calls afterwards. 

His uncle had made him follow his courses online, and he had lived secluded since then. He had nowhere to go anyway, if he couldn’t see Damen. 

He had thought about going to his house, but he knew better than to challenge his uncle. He knew he would have hurt him, and he needed to protect him. 

He had become thinner, since he refused to eat when his uncle was in the house, so he barely ate at breakfast and lunch, and his body got weaker as weeks went by. 

That’s when his heat came. He had finished his suppressants supplies, and he knew it was only a matter of time since it would come. The thought hunted him in his dreams every night; he was terrified that his uncle could come and decide to bite him, to claim him and subdue Laurent to his will forever. It was a ghastly and repugnant thought, and Laurent lost his sleep upon it. 

When he woke up soaked wet and burning, one morning, he knew he had to prevent that from happening. 

He took several bottles of water and some fruit and high-calories snacks and then he barricaded his room, locked it and moved his heavier chest of drawers to the door to prevent anyone from entering. 

He had only had two real heats in his life since he presented at thirteen, both of them with his uncle, and he did not wish to repeat the experience. 

Laurent wished to say he was prepared for it to happen, but he really wasn’t. After so many years of washed-down heats provoked by suppressants, the real deal was awful. His body was hotter than he ever remembered it being, and he was sweating and wetting his sheets. But the worst thing was the pain. His abdominal muscles were spasming, as was his hole, and he knew the pain would only stop if someone fucked him, and he couldn’t let it happen. 

He forced himself to stay silent and take careful sips of water every half an hour, treating this heat like another school assignment. He had to follow his schedule; it didn’t matter how hard it was.  
It went well for the first twelve hours; after then, the pain was so strong that he was forced to let out tiny whimpers. He felt his eyes wet, and then he was crying, desperately wanting someone to be there with him. 

It was in his pain haze that he took his phone and called Damen. 

He picked up at the first ring. 

“ _Laurent_ ,” he said, and his voice was filled with so much relief, and shock, and love, and incredulity, that Laurent cried harder. “What’s wrong? Where are you?” 

“Damen,” Laurent cried, and he sobbed, making his words inaudible. 

“Laurent, love, tell me what’s wrong,” he said, now with his gentlest voice, the one he only reserved for Laurent when he was making love to him. “Are you safe?” 

“No, Damen, I- I'm... I’m sorry, Damen, I didn’t want to break with you, I love you so much, please forgive me,” Laurent sobbed, and buried his face into the pillow to stop himself from crying. 

“It’s okay, my love, I know you didn’t. I never believed that text,” Damen said, and sudden relief washed on Laurent. “Can you tell me what’s happening?” 

Laurent took some moments to stop crying. “I’m at home. In my room,” he said. “I’m in heat, Damen. A real heat.” 

“Fuck, how did it...” Damen started, but then he seemed to realise, because he cursed, hard. “I have to take you out of there, now.” 

“No!” Laurent screamed, fuelled by another wave of pain. “No, you can’t, y-you can’t. I’m too far into it, and you can’t risk coming here. He- he'll kill you, Damen. That’s why I-” 

“Laurent!” Damen screamed, as Laurent moaned through a cramp. It was getting so much worse. “Talk to me, please, Laurent. What’s going on?” 

“It hurts so much, Damen, so fucking much,” Laurent said, his voice small and afraid, and Damen felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. “I want you to be here, I want you so much but you can’t... he... he knows, about us, and about the pregnancy. He made me leave you, or he would have harmed you. He’s dangerous, you... you need to stay there, safe. Please, Damen, please... promise me you’ll stay safe.” 

“...What will happen when he comes home?” Damen asked, and his voice was dull, empty. 

“I’m locked into my room. I... he shouldn’t be able to come in,” Laurent said. 

“Laurent...” Damen pleaded, and his voice was now broken. 

“Please. Don’t... I don’t want to talk about this. Just talk to me about something else,” Laurent said, and he curled on himself. 

He expected Damen to blabber about something regarding his day, but things took a different turn. 

“How wet are you? I bet you’re soaking your bed,” Damen said, his voice low and rough, and Laurent couldn’t help but shiver. 

“Yes, Damen, I’m so wet... I need you so much, filling my hole, it’s unbearable...” he moaned, stretching his legs and opening them on instinct. 

“Put two fingers inside of you,” Damen instructed, “Pretend they’re mine, pretend I’m there with you, filling you and touching your sweet spot.” 

Laurent wasted no time, and he put three fingers inside of him, thrusting hard and fast, curling them until he screamed, this time with pleasure. 

“That’s it, baby, you’re so good, you’re so, so good,” Damen praised him, and Laurent moaned, a long sound that came from deep his chest. “Add another finger, take your time to scissor them... that’s it, love, just like that...” 

Laurent had put his phone on speaker, and was now on all fours, thrusting into his hole with four fingers and moaning for Damen to hear. He could barely talk, the need to come too overwhelming.  
When he put five fingers inside and Damen told him to close the fist like a knot, imagining it was him, Laurent came with a scream, and collapsed on the bed with his hand still buried inside. 

He was panting hard, and he curled on the ruined sheets. 

“You were so good, baby. And so hot... I can’t wait to spend your next heat with you, I will make you feel so good,” Damen said, his voice sweet like honey, and Laurent wished he could touch him. 

The pain had subsided, as soon as he had given in to his instinct, but it was mean to come back if he fought his heat again. 

“I’m so scared,” Laurent said, his voice quiet, half an hour later. They had been silent on the phone, until then. 

“I’m scared for you, too, Laurent,” Damen admitted. “I can’t imagine you, alone, in a moment like this, in that house...” 

Laurent felt himself starting to cry again. “Damen...” 

The man cursed himself for not being able to comfort him. “Hey, it will be okay, alright? You’ve done a wonderful job blocking the door. He won’t come in,” 

“What if he does?” 

“Laurent,” Damen said, his voice firm, trying to hide his own fear. “He won’t. He won’t hurt you again,” 

“I wish I could believe you,” Laurent said, as he felt his eyelids lower, and he fell into a deep sleep. 

When he woke up, it was to a loud banging and screaming. 

“Laurent? What’s happening?” 

It was Damen talking, still at the other end of the phone. 

“I fell asleep,” he just said. The banging came from his door. “He’s here.” 

“He’s inside?” Damen yelled, his voice alarmed and scared. 

“No,” Laurent replied. His heart was pounding, but he felt relatively calm otherwise. “He’s trying to break down the door.” 

“No! Laurent, can you go out of there?” Damen asked, in full panic, now. 

“No, I can barely move, and my room is on the second floor. If he can come in, there’s no way I can escape,” Laurent said, and he recognise how hopeless his voice sounded. He had really thought he could win this battle. “I love you, Damen.” 

That’s the last thing Laurent said before the door was yanked apart, and his uncle came into view. He could hear Damen yelling something, but he couldn’t hear a word. His attention was solely on the form of his uncle, who was trying to move the drawer, with some difficulties, Laurent noted, and smiled faintly. 

He was naked and wet, on his bed, and his uncle was about to come into the room and ruin him for the last time in his life. He was so tired of fighting, and his body was so hot it was almost feverish, and he couldn’t think about anything else but the pain that was starting to throb again in his lower abdomen. He wanted it to end. His mind was foggy and he couldn’t think. He only knew it was over. Damen wasn’t talking anymore, but Laurent was glad he was safe. 

He opened his eyes when he felt someone grabbing his face, and everything was clear again. 

His uncle was on top of him and was spitting words at him. 

“Look at you, just like the good old times. I forgot how this suited you...” he said, mouthing at his ear. “So wet and desperate for my cock. You’ll never be good for anything else than this...” 

Laurent wanted to struggle, but he could bear his words. He just had to keep talking. 

“You want it, don’t you? You begged so sweetly for my fingers and for my cock, but you’ll have to earn it, remember?” his Uncle said, and his hand slid on his nipples to rip a reaction out of Laurent, when he didn’t respond. He felt himself moan, and it was awful and delightful at the same time. He was crying, curling into his mind to escape the abuse, but his body wanted it so bad. 

“You don’t want to cooperate? Good, I’ll make you scream, then,” he said, and his voice was vicious and promised pain. 

The first slap was painful, but he could take it. The second and third hit were manageable, too. Laurent forced himself not to react, even if he was buried in a mix of sensations that made his mind scream. His lips never parted. Laurent took it all, and his Uncle was more frustrated as the minutes passed. 

“Fine, you asked for it,” his Uncle said, then, and he gripped his wrists hard, as he manhandled him on the bed, making him lay face down on the mattress. Laurent heard the sound of a zip, and that was the moment when Laurent’s mind snapped. He started to scream, to struggle hard, but his uncle was stronger, an alpha and determined to make him suffer. 

“No, NO!” Laurent screamed and trashed, as his uncle pinned him to the bed and moved to slid his cock on his hole. 

“It’s too late, Laurent,” he said, and his voice was filled with the deep satisfaction of knowing that he was about to ruin Laurent forever. “You’re not good for anything else than this. You made me do this to you, remember.” 

“NO! LET ME GO, LET ME GO!” Laurent screamed, burning his lungs and throat, as his brain refused to acknowledge that he was about to be fucked and claimed by this monster, his childhood abuser. He started to sob between the screams as he felt his uncle’s cock touch him, and staring to push into his hole. He kicked with his legs, tried to punch him, but it was useless, his uncle had him pinned down. 

The first push was followed by a satisfied groaning by his uncle, and more sobs by Laurent. He couldn’t believe it was happening again, he couldn’t believe he was going to be forever linked to him, that he would lose Damen. 

He preferred to be dead that _mated_ with this person. 

He gave up. With the knowledge that he would kill himself as soon as his heat was over, he gave up. He stopped struggling and lay motionless, and felt how satisfied his uncle was, how pleased that he had finally broken Laurent. He fucked him hard, and Laurent barely felt it. 

He felt when the pressure suddenly disappeared, though. His uncle had not come. He did not care. 

Then, he felt sounds, and Laurent slowly emerged from his mind and heard the grunts and the screams, and he opened his eyes. 

His uncle was on the floor, his pants still down, and there was someone towering over him and punching him repeatedly, making him scream with pain. That someone was Damen, and he was killing his uncle. 

Laurent couldn’t move, he could only watch as his rapist died in front of him. 

Damen was panting hard, as he kneeled on the floor next to the lifeless body of his uncle. His hands and face were covered in blood and he was sweating. Then, he lifted his gaze and Laurent was pinned by a glare of absolute hatred and anger and homicidal rage. His gaze suddenly changed as he recognised Laurent again, and then his eyes were filled with concern and he got up, and he hugged him. 

Laurent inhaled his scent and felt himself calm instantly, not at all afraid by Damen, who had just killed another man bare-handed. Damen was running his hands on Laurent’s body, leaving blood imprints, caressing him and whispering words and apologies and declarations of love. Then, Laurent realised he was crying. 

“I’m so sorry, I should have come as soon as you called me, I will never forgive myself for this, I’m so sorry, Laurent, I’m so sorry...” 

Laurent just stroked his hair, without saying anything, just letting him weep over his body. He felt unable to process everything that had happened. He only knew he was in a room with his last family member dead, and he felt good about it. 

Damen cried a lot, and Laurent knew it was the adrenaline of everything he had witnessed and done. Laurent was different, and he went through it by staying silent and still. 

When Damen was well enough, he took care of Laurent, cleaned him, wrapped him in a soft blanket and took him to his house. 

Laurent’s heat faded after a few hours. He knew it could happen when an omega was put under an enormous amount of stress or trauma, and that was exactly what had happened to him. 

After some hours, he felt much more clear-headed, and he turned to Damen, who was now cleaned and had not stopped looking at him for a second. 

“You killed my uncle,” Laurent said, and he saw his startle, not expecting him to talk. “Thank you.” 

Damen was dazed by his words, and Laurent knew it wasn’t what he had expected Laurent’s first words to be, after all of that had happened. 

“I would do it again,” Damen said, serious. “I would do it a hundred time.” 

Laurent just nodded, and closed his eyes. 

“We need to call the police,” Laurent said. 

“Yes,” Damen answered. 

“I will not let them take you,” 

“I don’t care. He’s dead, and now you’re safe even without me,” Damen said. He had known the consequences when he had been punching him to death. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Laurent said, and then he got up and started to make calls. 

****

**αβω**

Laurent woke in a puddle of wet sheets. Fuck. 

“Damen, Damen!” he shouted, shaking him to wake him up. 

“What, what?” he murmured, suddenly awake. 

“My water just broke,” 

“Okay, stay calm. Laurent stay calm,” 

“I am calm. You stay calm,” 

Damen looked at him, and laughed. “Fuck, okay. This is happening,” 

“It is,” Laurent said, smiling softly, before a contraction hit him. “Oh, shit. This was worse than yesterday,” 

“Once the water breaks, labor it’s supposed to speed up,” 

“Great,” Laurent groaned, moving his hands to his large stomach and closing his eyes, grimacing. 

When the contraction passed, Damen helped him stand and clean up. He changed the sheets and went to grab the phone. 

“Damen,” Laurent said, looking at him. “Hug me first, before we are not alone anymore,” 

Damen went quickly to hug him, from behind, spreading his warm hands on his large belly and kissing his neck. That’s when he felt it happen. His stomach hardened impossibly, and Laurent moaned, tensing. He started breathing steadily, as another contraction came and passed. 

“Fuck, childbirth is terrifying,” Damen said, looking at his partner’s body in awe. “You are amazing,” 

“I don’t feel amazing. I feel like shit and I’m scared as fuck,” Laurent admitted. “Tell me it’s going to be okay, Damen,” 

“Everything it’s going to be perfectly okay. We have the best midwife, as soon as I will call him, at least. He will be here in twenty minutes and he will deliver our baby safe and sound,” 

Laurent smiled, and he nodded. Damen always knew how to calm him, after all the years they had spent together. 

“Go call Paschal, I’ll be on the bed,” he said, taking off his shirt. He was completely naked, but he felt better. He couldn’t stand being constricted into clothes. 

Ten minutes passed and another contraction hit him, forceful and painful. Damen held his hand as it lasted, as he moaned and breathed, trying to ease the pain. 

He relaxed on the bed, their hands still linked. “This hurt like a bitch,” he said, already sweating. 

“I know baby, you are doing so well, though. You are amazing,” 

Laurent just smiled, and held his hand tighter as he felt another contraction approaching. It was so much closer than the others, and so much painful. “Fuck, fuck, Damen!” Laurent cried, and actual tears spilled from his eyes. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay sweetheart, just breathe,” Damen said, soothing, stroking his hair and his arms. 

They had talked about that, when his due date was approaching. Laurent had told Damen that he could touch him everywhere to soothe his pain, because his touch was incredibly helpful. And Damen did so, even if he tried not to touch his belly and lower, worrying for Laurent not liking it. 

“It hurts,” Laurent said, his voice small and afraid. 

“Oh, baby,” Damen said, and he seemed on the verge of tears too. “I’m so sorry. If I could, I would take your pain away,” 

He kept stroking his hair, until the doorbell rang. Damen ran to open the door. 

Paschal was a middle-aged man with a soft but serious expression. He was an omega himself, and one of the best midwives in town, specialised in home births. Laurent had not wanted to go to the hospital, so they had arranged it to happen in their home. 

As soon as they greeted, they heard a scream and Damen paled, leaving Paschal behind and hurrying to Laurent, who was gripping the sheets with trembling hands. When the contraction ended, he fell on the bed with a huff. 

“Sweetheart, I’m here,” Damen said, kneeling on the bed beside Laurent. “Paschal is here,” 

“Oh, thank God,” he said, and the man entered the room. 

“Hello. Laurent. I see you are already in active labor. How far are the contractions?” 

It was Damen who answered. “Every five minutes circa, they last 45-50 seconds each,” 

Paschal smiled. “Good, that’s very good. I think you are almost ready to push. I should check how dilated you are. Damen…?” 

“Yes,” he said, getting up and grabbing a pair of gloves. The only condition that Laurent had was that Paschal wasn’t going to touch him. They had talked a lot about this, and they had agreed that Damen would have been the only one to touch his body, and inside of his body. Laurent would have allowed Paschal to intervene only in case of emergency. 

Damen stroked gently his thigh to comfort him. “Baby, I’m going to put two fingers in, okay?” 

Laurent only nodded, closing his eyes and breathing steadily. 

“Damen, what do you feel?” Paschal asked, as soon as he had his entire hand inside Laurent’s opening. 

“Eight centimeters!” Damen said, excitedly. He removed his gloves and went back on the bed, kissing Laurent lightly. “You are almost there, my love,” 

Laurent smiled, a real and sincere smile. Then he frowned. “Damen, help me change position, please,” he said, his voice strained. It was difficult to talk. Damen hurried and, as soon he was in the new position, he tensed as another contraction seemed to split his abdomen in two. Laurent screamed, and crushed Damen’s hand as he bore down the contraction. 

He stayed silent, after, trying to catch his breath. Damen stroked his hair and his lower back, and Laurent relaxed slightly. 

After two more contractions – now definitely closer to each other – that Laurent bore screaming into Damen’s shirt, Paschal told them that Damen should check his dilatation again. When Damen pulled his fingers out, he said Laurent was at ten centimetres. 

“Laurent,” Paschal said. He was at the end of the bed, and had been silent until now. It was a welcoming presence but he tried not to interfere much, as their wish was an intimate childbirth. “You are ready to push,” 

Laurent nodded, and he looked at Damen, his eyes full of emotions. Damen understood him perfectly. “I’m right here, baby. We’ll make this baby come into the world, okay?” 

Laurent nodded, and he screamed as he pushed through the next contraction, on his fours on the bed. Laurent moved his hips between one push and the other, and Damen stroked his skin.  
Laurent had never been so vocal in his life. He had always bore everything sternly, trying to control his body with only the sheer force of his mind. But this was something that went beyond reason, this was Nature at its purest form, and even Laurent was forced to succumb to it. 

Laurent pushed and pushed, but there seemed not to be any progress. Laurent was starting to be more distressed as the time passed. He felt split in two in the deepest part of his body, and the pain was threatening to make him crazy. 

“Why won’t he come out?” he cried, exhausted, after he pushed hard through another intense contraction. Paschal called Damen to check him. 

He put two fingers in, and felt the head barely passed through his cervix. 

“Laurent, I think you need to change position. Damen, stand in front of him and support him with your arms and body,” Paschal directed, and Damen nodded, helping Laurent standing and keeping him upright, with his hands on his hips. They moved slowly, and Damen whispered sweet words into his hair. 

When the next contraction came, Laurent bore down and screamed, squatting and pushing hard. Damen held him as he grabbed his shoulders hard. 

“Damen…” he whispered, exhausted. It had been two hours since Paschal had arrived, but the baby wasn’t even crowning. “I can’t deliver this baby. I can’t,” he cried into his chest. “He was right, I’m good for nothing,” 

“He wasn’t fucking right, Laurent. Listen to me, listen,” he said, wiping his tears and kissing him. “I know you are tired, but you can do it. You are the strongest person I know, and you can birth this baby. _Our_ baby. Okay?” 

Laurent nodded, but a few tears ran down his cheeks as he pushed again, and screamed until his throat was raw. 

Damen looked at Paschal hoping that he would find a solution. “He’s distressed, he can’t do this like that,” Damen said, away from Laurent, who had gone back to the bed and was now curled on one side, with one leg up in the air. 

“You could try something. Not many people are willing to do it, because it’s so private, but you could help him through masturbation, or nipple stimulation,” 

“What?” 

“Endorphins ease pain and help with labor. Talk to Laurent about this, and if he agrees, I’ll go outside,” 

Damen nodded, and went to Laurent. He whispered in his ears for a minute and then Laurent nodded. Damen looked at Paschal, and he went out. 

They were alone. Damen took Laurent’s half hard member into his hand and started stroking it, gently. Laurent sighed, and let him stroke his cock to full hardness. He felt another contraction coming, and he tensed. 

“Damen…” he said, nervous. 

“Let’s breathe through this one, okay? Close your eyes, relax as much as you can,” 

Laurent nodded, and panted as the contraction hit. At the same time, Damen stroked his slit, sending sparks of pleasure through his body, helping him through the pain. 

“Oh…” Laurent moaned, as Damen stroked him harder. 

“Like this, baby, you are so good, so perfect,” he said, moving his hand faster, and Laurent felt close to bursting. 

“Another one is coming…” Laurent said, and Damen nodded, taking one of his nipples and rolling it gently between his fingers. 

Laurent grunted as he pushed, and he actually felt the baby descending as he pushed, aided by Damen giving him pleasure. 

“Yes, like this sweetheart!” Damen said, excitedly, as he felt with two fingers that the baby was much lower. 

They continued for another three or four contractions, and then the baby was crowning. Damen now was stroking his hair, having Laurent asked to stop stimulating him. He had called Paschal back, who smiled seeing the head of the baby. 

“Laurent, the baby is almost here. Do you want to touch him?” 

He nodded, and his eyes filled with happy tears and he laughed as he felt the slippery head of his baby under his fingers. 

“Damen, he’s really here,” he said, and he saw that Damen was teary too. 

“Laurent, now it’s really important for you to give small pushes. Small pushes and pants, so we’ll be sure you won’t tear, okay?” 

Laurent nodded and did as he was told for the next contractions. The baby’s head emerged slowly, and it burned so much that Laurent had to fight with the instinct of pushing hard to relieve that pressure. 

“Like this, good Laurent! So good! Little pushes!” Paschal said, and at last, the head emerged completely with a gush of fluids. 

Laurent exhaled deeply and collapsed on the bed, panting and sweating. He could feel the weight of the baby between his legs, the liquids dripping down his thighs and he took a few seconds to appreciate the lessened pressure at his opening. Damen was between his legs, crouched on the bed, and was looking at the baby with an awed expression. He seemed so happy, Laurent was almost glad he was doing this for him, painfully pushing his baby out of his body. He felt his fingers checking the cord, declaring it wasn’t around the baby’s neck. 

“Okay Laurent, he’s almost here! Now big pushes when you feel the urge!” 

Laurent nodded, but this position was distressing him. So, he went on all fours, bearing down as another contraction hit and he grunted, pushing until he had no breath left in his lungs. He panted hard, as the baby made small progress. 

“Laurent wait, I think the baby has his shoulders stuck. I might have to rotate him,” Paschal said, his voice serious and professional. 

“What? Can’t Damen do it?” 

“I’m afraid not, Laurent. This is more complicated than just checking the cervix,” 

“No, please, I don’t want to,” Laurent cried and, as another contraction hit, he panicked, and screamed as he felt his body push. 

“No, Laurent, wait!” Paschal said, and he felt his hands on the baby, and touching his skin, and he started breathing hard. Damen was there in a second, manoeuvring him into a lateral position and hugging him, enveloping him with his scent. He was emanating calming pheromones, which allowed Laurent to breathe more calmly. “My love, you need to listen to Paschal. Please, he knows what the baby needs,” 

Laurent started crying. “I can’t stand his hands there, please make him stop,” he sobbed, shaking his head. “Damen, another contraction is coming… please,” he begged, and Damen felt his heart break. 

“Pant through this one baby, just pant, okay?” he said to Laurent, who obliged. Then, he turned to the midwife. “Paschal, I’m afraid I can’t let you touch him,” he said, looking at him in the eyes. He knew he wanted to disagree but, until the baby was in real danger, he wouldn’t have put himself between an alpha and his labouring, distressed omega. 

Laurent was panting, tears sliding down his cheeks, and Damen kissed him on the forehead before looking at Paschal. “Tell me what I have to do,” 

They positioned Laurent on his back, and told him to hold up his legs, to widen the pelvis. Then, Damen positioned himself between Laurent legs, kneeling on the floor, and slipped two fingers between the baby’s body and Laurent’s angry red flesh. He felt Laurent choking on a sob, but he could not stop. He tentatively searched for his stuck shoulder, as Paschal had instructed him and, as Laurent pushed next, he slowly rotated the small body to allow both shoulders to come out. 

Laurent was screaming hard now, an animalistic sound that Damen had never heard him make. The pain that Laurent must be feeling because of this manoeuvre must have been agonizing and Damen felt silent tears running down his own cheeks, and he kept apologizing to Laurent for the pain he was causing him. 

It took five more hard pushes, but at last Damen felt and saw the baby’s body slip out of Laurent in one motion, into his arms. 

“That’s it, Laurent! You did it! Baby, you did it,” he said, feeling himself choke on the tears. Paschal was right on his side, checking briefly the baby before Damen put it on Laurent’s chest. 

He was breathing slow, but his eyes were open and he was touching his baby’s head with delicate fingers. 

“He’s here, oh, Damen, we really did it…” he said, laughing softly and crying as he felt the baby making soft sounds and moving gently on Laurent’s chest. “Hey baby, my baby, you’re here...” 

“You did it, you did all the work,” Damen said, smiling and touching his wrinkly skin. Ha watched as Laurent took the baby into his arms and coddled him to his chest, kissing his nose. “He’s so beautiful… he has blond hair, I wouldn’t have thought,” 

“He’s wonderful, I… I’m so happy Laurent. I love you so much,” 

“I love you too,” he said, his eyes never leaving the small creature. 

Paschal quietly cleared his throat. “You can cut the cord now, Damen,” he said. He clamped it near the baby’s abdomen as Damen got up, and then passed the surgical scissors to Damen, who cut the cord neatly. It fell bloodily on the bed. Paschal take some blood samples that put into a bag with ice. 

Laurent birthed the afterbirth easily, only grunting as it slid out. 

Paschal took it and then he said he needed to go to the hospital to bring the samples to the laboratory and to run some tests on the placenta. He told them that he would be back in two hours, and to call him immediately if there was something wrong. 

They were alone, and Laurent was giving small kisses to the baby’s head, a soft smile on his lips. Damen felt his heart swell with affection, and gently stroked his damp hair. “I’m going to clean you up a little, sweetheart,” he said, kissing his forehead. Laurent just nodded, sleepily. 

He grabbed some soft towels and a bowl of warm water and soap, and started to gently clean Laurent’s bloody legs and opening, being extra gentle with the swollen flesh there. Then, he removed all the soaked absorbing pads, laying Laurent on fresh and clean sheets underneath. 

Laurent still hadn’t let go of the baby for a second, and Damen sat at his side, smiling. “Can I take him for a second? I will wash him very fast and then I’ll give him back to you,” 

Laurent smiled, and nodded. “I need to put on some pads and pants anyway,” 

Damen took his baby, who gurgled and moved his little hands towards his face. He smiled, feeling something warm into his chest. He placed him into a small basin and washed him carefully, wrapping him only in a diaper and bringing him to Laurent, who was wearing maternity pants and was laying on the bed. 

Laurent took the baby, who searched for Laurent breast and moved his lips on his hardened nipple. “Oh,” Laurent said, moving his head in a more comfortable position for feeding. “Is this right?” he asked, and Damen nodded. 

“I think he’s alright,” he smiled and he looked as the baby latched and started sucking. 

“It’s so strange,” Laurent chuckled, closing his eyes and breathing softly. “I tried to sit, but it hurts too much.” 

Damen kissed his head. “I wish I could take your pain away, love,” and he meant it. 

Laurent just smiled. “Thank you, I… I appreciated, that you didn’t let Paschal touch me. I’m sorry I was like that,” 

“You don’t have to apologize, Laurent. This birth was on your terms and yours only. I wouldn’t have let him touch you,” 

“Thank you. I love you so much, I love this baby so much, I can’t believe it came out of me,” 

“It’s feels incredible, right? And he’s so beautiful. I think… we should name him Auguste,” 

Laurent felt his eyes fill with tears. “Damen…” 

“I thought about it a lot. And then… he came out with blond hair. It’s a sign, I think,” Damen said, gently smiling as he watched the baby feed. 

“I… I don’t… are you sure?” 

“I am. I think your brother would be very happy to know we named him after him,” 

“He wouldn’t let it go for years,” Laurent laughed and wiped his eyes. “Thank you again, it means a lot,” 

“Thank you, for not giving up on… this. After the first time. I know it was hard for you then, and I know you didn’t want to ever have children but… I’m so happy that we kept this little one.” 

“I’m so happy too. I wanted him, so much. And I don’t regret a thing.” 

Damen carefully moved so that he was hugging Laurent from his side, his free hand touching the tiny feet and the even tinier fingers of their baby. It felt incredible knowing that this small creature was the product of their love, and he already know that they would love him unconditionally for the rest of their life. When Laurent and the baby fell asleep, he made sure Laurent was comfortable, and he put a hand on his baby’s small body to keep him close to Laurent and to make him feel safe. 

As the two most important people of his life rested, after long hours of hard work, Damen watched over them, swearing he would protect them forever.

**Author's Note:**

> SO! There was angst.
> 
> Damen really loves Laurent and calling Laurent 'baby' and Laurent pregnant... he really is good with children and even more wonderful with his own.P


End file.
